Thread:SecondOpinion/@comment-5688420-20170423204302/@comment-5688420-20170430140342

You know, Lu. My life has been in a donward spiral ever since November. I hit rock bottom in Februray, when I did that stupid impersionation shit, and things were never the same for me eve since. Dosen't help that my abusive grandparents still beat the shit outta me, and then I found out my real father's been cheating on mom. I don't really know how low I would sink.

It's times like this when I want to find me a friend that understands me, cares for me and will always be there for me. That's where the Nakama kicks in. The Nakama is like my safe haven, where I can spill out my mind whenever I want. And It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for one person: Pauly.

Pauly is someone whom I loved from the bottom of my heart. Back then, we were inseperable and loved each other. We were like platonic sweethearts. So that was why when Pauly left this Wiki back then, I was incredibly broken. Without her custody, I was practically alone once again. I try to reach out for her, but she's already living a happy new life, which to me was like a betrayal. The impersonation stinyt was the final nail that sealed the coffin. At tht point, my life was down in the slumps. Never able to get up, and never with the will to.

Finding out about Pauly's death by cardiac arrest was something of an eye-opener for me. It was at that that moment that I finally accepted that Pauly will no longer be with us anymore, and it damaged me further. Now that I can no longer say sorry to her, I don't know what to do anymore.

If only she found it in her heart to stay, then I would my bipolar in the first blace. There would be no impersonation, no multiple suicide attempts,just a loving Nakama. But what's done is done. Despite this. i don't blame her. Instead, I put all the responsibility to myself. At the end of the day, I just want to keep remembering her as who she was... a true Nakama.

I love Pauly, and I always will...