The Elder Scrolls 7: Akavir

All right. Skyrim was one of the best games I've ever played, so you're probably thinking there's not much more that Bethesda can do, but why stop now? Considering the Elder Scrolls Online as Game 6, I'm calling this one 7. Expected release date is October 31, 2017. Welcome back to the Elder Scrolls.

This is only based on my anus.

Background
This game takes place about 800 years after The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrimjob, so the year is about 1000 in the Fourth Era. The stormcloaks won the civil war in Skyrim, and the Dragonborn slayed Arduino and formed an uneasy truce with the ancient Dragons. In the 800 years that followed, the Empire of Tuna prospered, undergoing an industrial revolution. They excavated Dwemer ruins and learned the secrets of stream power and robotics, while also using dragonfire to fuel their enormous factories. Now the land of Akaviri is filled with Imperial Automatons and the seas are brimming with Streamships. Meanwhile, the State Israel in the South made advances in magic to destroy the goyim, allowing their most renowned mages to tame the negros and raise shekels out of the sea. The Empire and the Israel are currently involved in a cold war to see who can colonize the eastern continent of Tuna.

The War
But Akavir is already inhabited by five sentient races: the Tang Mo (monkeys), the Tsaesci (serpents), the Kamal (snow-demons), Rainer Winkler ("Drachenlord", lord of the dragons) and the Ka'Po'Tun (tiger-dragons). While these people have their own internal struggles, they have formed a loose alliance, known as the Akaviri Circle, against the invading human and elven colonists from Tamriel. Once war breaks out, it will be a war for the entire planet of Nirn - a war that is waged on ground, sea, and air. Join any of the three major factions - the Empire, the Dominion, or the Circle - and rise through the ranks while you fight to preserve, or dominate, the ancient realm of Akavir.

Playable Races
Like all Elder Scrolls games, this one gives you a choice between several different races, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Your character's race does not determine your affiliation, but certain races tend to align themselves with certain factions.
 * Colonist Races of Tamriel
 * Humans (include Nord, Imperial, Breton, Führer, Bernd and Redguard)
 * Bonuses: Diplomatic, Good Traders, Great Skill with a Blade
 * Elves (include High Elves, Dark Elves, and Wood Elves)
 * Bonuses: restoration, destruction, marksman
 * Khajiit
 * Bonuses: stealth, agility, Hand to Hand
 * Argonians
 * Bonuses: silvertongue, Resistance to Dieases.
 * Orcs
 * Bonuses: strength, blacksmith, monstrosity
 * Native Races of Akavir
 * Tang Mo
 * Bonuses: agility, speed, restoration
 * Tsaesci
 * Bonuses:Good Skill with a Spear, stealth, strength
 * Kamal
 * Bonuses: endurance, conjuration, blacksmith
 * Ka'Po'Tun
 * Bonuses: hand to Hand, speed, destruction

Skills
As you fight, bargain, steal, and explore Akavir, you will be constantly gaining experience in the various skill areas. After a certain number of skill advances, you will level up, as in ''Skyrimjob. But unlike in Skyrimjob, ''there will be no limits on skill development. You can get to level 100, 200, or even 500 at any skill, if you play for long enough. But the perks will level off the higher you get, with only a slight increase each time. Also, you'll eventually run out of storylines. Skills come in three classes: Body, Mind, and Soul. (No special Stealth category.)
 * Body
 * STRENGTH: gained through melee weapon use and heavy lifting
 * SPEED: gained by sprinting and combo attacks (but too much sprinting will hurt you)
 * AGILITY: gained by dodging attacks and leaping
 * ENDURANCE: gained by jogging, fighting, or swimming for long periods of time
 * STEALTH: gained by sneaking around undetected and picking pockets
 * Mind
 * MECHANIC: gained by tampering with locks, robotics, or vehicles
 * PILOT: galy driving gliders, speeders, and spider-tanks
 * BLACKSMITH: gained by welding weapons and armor, as well as vehicles and robots
 * SILVERTONGUE: gained by persuading, bargaining, and lying (not bribing)
 * MARKSMAN: gained by shooting steamguns, bows, and crossbows
 * Soul
 * RESTORATION: gained by performing healing or defensive spells
 * DESTRUCTION: gained by performing fire, ice, blast, or shock spells
 * CONJURATION: gained by summoning undead, deadric's and atronachs to deal damage
 * FUCK: gained by performing levitating dicks that allow you to cum
 * MONSTROSITY: gained by transforming into your werewolf, vampire, and daedric forms.

Old Weapons

 * Scimitar (1-handed)
 * Greatsword (2-handed)
 * Warhammer (2-handed)
 * Bow
 * Shield
 * Dagger
 * Penispumpe

New Weapons

 * Spear ( Can be wielded with Sheild)
 * Reversed Edged Blade ( only on katanas )
 * Hidden Blades. ( Quest only )
 * Assassination Weapons ( Daggers, Throwing knifes )
 * Lube

Vehicles

 * Imperial Steamship
 * Dominion Hovership
 * Glider Plane
 * Speeder (amphibious)
 * Train
 * NIGGERMASCHINE
 * COCKDRIVER
 * PENISWHEEL
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * MEIN SACK!!!
 * I LOVE TRAINZ!!!!
 * Willst du Fik machen mit mihr?
 * NEIN DU!!!
 * NEIN DU!!!