Champions of Middle-Earth/Character Intro Banter/The Fellowship of the Ring

Vs himself
Aragorn 1: "You will yield." Aragorn 2: "I am the true King!" Aragorn 1: "The true King doesn't rely on deception!" Aragorn 1: "Tell me something only I would know." Aragorn 2: "Your mother's name was Cirean as well?" Aragorn 1: "How is that possible...?" Aragorn 1: "Show yourself, Sauron!" Aragorn 2: "I'm afraid you are mistaken." Aragorn 1: "Your death will reveal the truth!" Aragorn 1: "You will yield." Aragorn 2: "To you? Never!" Aragorn 1: "Then you leave me no choice!"

Aragorn 1: "Why should I fight myself?" Aragorn 2: "The perseverance of my line depends on it!" Aragorn 1: "I'm Isildur's Heir, not Isildur himself!"

Vs Boromir
Aragorn: "Still holding grievances, I see..." Boromir: "You place far too much trust in Elves!" Aragorn: "I was raised by them!"

Aragorn: "For your own sake, move aside!" Boromir: "There's no place in Gondor for you!" Aragorn: "Your brother would disagree."

Vs Frodo
Aragorn: "I have sworn to protect you!" Frodo: "Can you protect me from yourself?" Aragorn: "Guess we're about to find out!"

Aragorn: "For your own sake, move aside!" Frodo: "And if I refuse?" Aragorn: "You'll get hurt!"

Aragorn: "You look different..." Frodo: "How so?" Aragorn: "To start with, you're no longer pale."

Vs Gandalf
Aragorn: "You look different..." Gandalf: "I am now Gandalf the White!" Aragorn: "Then what does that make Saruman?"

Aragorn: "It's time we discuss where our Fellowship's heading." Gandalf: "Like you have a better plan." Aragorn: "One that doesn't involve sacrifices!"

Vs Gimli
Aragorn: "You're going to get tossed!" Gimli: "Not gonna let that go, are you?" Aragorn: "This time, you'll be slammed against the wall!"

Aragorn: "Getting ahead of yourself?" Gimli: "You should know me by now." Aragorn: "Maybe it's time changes were made!"

Vs Gollum
Aragorn: "Gandalf and I hunted you once." Gollum: "Didn't go well, did it?" Aragorn: "This time, you will not escape!"

Aragorn: "Got a trap for you, Gollum." Gollum: "That's a bit obvious, don't you think?" Aragorn: "You don't even know what my trap is."

Vs Legolas
Aragorn: "For your own sake, move aside!" Legolas: "You know I cannot do that, Aragorn!" Aragorn: "It is mutiny, then..."

Aragorn: "This isn't your fight, Legolas!" Legolas: "But every fight is, Aragorn." Aragorn: "Don't make this any harder."

Aragorn: "Getting ahead of yourself?" Legolas: "I'm tougher than you think." Aragorn: "Let's hope so."

Vs Merry
Aragorn: "For your own sake, move aside!" Merry: "Or what?" Aragorn: "You'll get hurt!"

Aragorn: "Getting ahead of yourself?" Merry: "Tell Éomer that!" Aragorn: "Oh, I will."

Vs Pippin
Aragorn: "Put the sword down, Peregrin Took." Pippin: "Like you're gonna make me!" Aragorn: "It is mutiny, then..."

Aragorn: "Care for a kiss?" Pippin: "You're kinda too tall for me." Aragorn: "Isn't Ent Draught a remedy?"

Vs Sam
Aragorn: "Gonna make you pay for calling me long-shanks." Sam: "Nobody can pull off dark clothes!" Aragorn: "I don't hear any admirers complaining."

Aragorn: "Still holding grievances, I see..." Sam: "You're getting a bit too proud of your kingship!" Aragorn: "I try not to."

Aragorn: "Looking for Frodo?" Sam: "Why do you assume that?" Aragorn: "You're always at his side, are you not?"

Vs himself
Boromir 1: "Who are you?" Boromir 2: "I'm you, only perfected!" Boromir 1: "I don't think so!"

Boromir 1: "No way you're my grand-father..." Boromir 2: "I am you, Boromir!" Boromir 1: "I don't think so!"

Vs Aragorn
Boromir: "Gondor needs no King!" Aragorn: "You still think I seek power?" Boromir: "I still don't know if you can be trusted!"

Boromir: "Aragorn..." Aragorn: "I see you wish to settle our dispute." Boromir: "Starting now!"

Vs Azog
Boromir: "You're supposed to be dead!" Azog: "Perhaps we are both dead!" Boromir: "Then this would be hell!"

Vs Frodo
Boromir: "Seems you lost some weight." Frodo: "This better be about my burden, Boromir!" Boromir: "Does it look like I'm joking?"

Boromir: "The Ring-bearer himself overthrew a Ringwraith?" Frodo: "Former Ring-bearer, and yes." Boromir: "We shall see."

Vs Gandalf
Boromir: "Stand aside, wizard!" Gandalf: "Why, may I ask?" Boromir: "Gondor demands it!"

Vs Gimli
Boromir: "Long time, no see." Gimli: "When did you get back!?" Boromir: "Long story short, I'm here to set things right!"

Vs Legolas
Boromir: "The blond Elf." Legolas: "The blond Gondorian." Boromir: "Let's see who has more fun!"

Vs Merry
Boromir: "You're a Rider now, Meriadoc?" Merry: "How do you know?" Boromir: "Your bloodlust's starting to show."

Vs Pippin
Boromir: "What has my father been telling you?" Pippin: "That you're it and Faramir's not." Boromir: "So my own death has changed nothing..."

Vs Sam
Boromir: "Long time, no see." Sam: "It should've stayed that way!" Boromir: "Long story short, I'm here to set things right!"

Vs himself
Frodo 1: "Must've had the Ring too long..." Frodo 2: "That means you have failed in your Quest!" Frodo 1: "Then this would be my atonement!"

Frodo 1: "Where's your Sam?" Frodo 2: "I've sent him home." Frodo 1: "That was a big mistake!"

Frodo 1: "The Ring has corrupted us both..." Frodo 2: "The Ring was entrusted to me alone!" Frodo 1: "Is that what I sound like?" / "You can keep your precious Ring, 'stinker'!"

Frodo 1: "Must've had the Ring too long..." Frodo 2: "Last time I looked, I'm the real Frodo!" Frodo 1: "Keep telling yourself that!"

Frodo 1: "Leave. Me. ALONE!!" Frodo 2: "I cannot! I'm a part of you!" Frodo 1: "Not anymore!"

Vs Aragorn
Frodo: "You done doubting yourself, Aragorn?" Aragorn: "The perseverance of my line depends on it!" Frodo: "Alright then. Show me what you got!"

Frodo: "You done doubting yourself, Aragorn?" Aragorn: "You done pushing your darkness away?" Frodo: "Looks like you're about to find out!"

Vs Azog
Frodo: "Back from the dead, I see..." Azog: "Now I am Azog reborn!" Frodo: "I'll make sure to aim for your neck!"

Vs Boromir
Frodo: "Heard you were feeling left out." Boromir: "So the Ring-bearer himself approaches me." Frodo: "Let's skip the formalities!"

Frodo: "Back from the dead, I see..." Boromir: "Still suffering from your shoulder wound?" Frodo: "Not anymore!"

Frodo: "The Ring has corrupted us both..." Boromir: "You could say that again." Frodo: "Doesn't mean I letting you off easy!"

Vs Elrond
Frodo: "You didn't tell me the Ring would cause a great deal of suffering!" Elrond: "It would've altered your path!" Frodo: "Somehow, that makes a lot of sense."

Vs Gandalf
Frodo: "You didn't tell me the Ring would cause a great deal of suffering!" Gandalf: "Believe me, Frodo, it has pained me every day." Frodo: "Doesn't mean I letting you off easy!"

Vs Gollum
Frodo: "You will not deceive me again!" Gollum: "We thought we friends!" Frodo: "Not anymore!"

Frodo: "I'm done playing nice, Smeagol!" Gollum: "Now you're just another killer!" Frodo: "You brought that out in me!"

Frodo: "I've pitied you once." Gollum: "And now?" Frodo: "I want revenge..."

Frodo: "Back from the dead, I see..." Gollum: "Thank the Bright Master for that!" Frodo: "I'll deal with him next!"

Vs Legolas
Frodo: "Heard you were feeling left out." Legolas: "It comes with being the only Elf." Frodo: "You don't say."

Frodo: "Thanks for saving Sam from the waterfall." Legolas: "He would have done the same for you." Frodo: "As I would do for him."

Frodo: "Heard you were feeling left out." Legolas: "Maybe it's all that dancing hairy feet." Frodo: "Or a bad case of Hobbit envy."

Vs Merry
Frodo: "What prank have you cooked up this time?" Merry: "It'll spoil if I tell you." Frodo: "It better not be another game of tigging." / "That's why I asked."

Frodo: "Last chance to go home." Merry: "And miss out on all the fun?" Frodo: "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Vs Pippin
Frodo: "Last chance to go home." Pippin: "Nah, think I'll take the chance anyway." Frodo: "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Frodo: "Don't get ahead of yourself, Pippin!" Pippin: "Likewise to you, Frodo!" Frodo: "Let's see who breaks faster!"

Frodo: "How long have you been following me?" Pippin: "Maybe I didn't want to feel left out?" Frodo: "My current path is no less dangerous!"

Frodo: "Don't say it, Pippin." Pippin: "One little mistake would cost us the whole world." Frodo: "You've been hanging around Gandalf too long!"

Vs Sam
Frodo: "So it comes to this?" Sam: "If it weren't for the Ring, we wouldn't even be here!" Frodo: "Somehow, that makes a lot of sense."

Frodo: "Last chance to go home." Sam: "Maybe I will after I beat you!" Frodo: "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Frodo: "You've been quiet lately..." Sam: "Let's just get this over with!" Frodo: "At least let me fix what's bothering you!"

Frodo: "Sam, what are you doing?" Sam: "We're settling this, here and now!" Frodo: "Guess you leave me no choice."

Vs Azog
Gandalf: "It's a pity you are now a pawn of Saruman!" Azog: "The White Wizard is long dead, old fool!" Gandalf: "Is that so?"

Vs Dwalin
Gandalf: "Balin's death was not of your making." Dwalin: "I already know who's responsible, Gandalf!" Gandalf: "Then you need to let go of your vengeance!"

Vs Gollum
Gandalf: "I've finally found you, Gollum." Gollum: "If we eats you, we gain magic?" Gandalf: "Enough 'magic' has corrupted you as is!"

Gandalf: "You were once a Stoor named Smeagol." Gollum: "That name no longer has meaning to us!" Gandalf: "It still should!"

Gandalf: "I've finally found you, Gollum." Gollum: "And now?" Gandalf: "You have much to answer!"

Vs Pippin
Gandalf: "The Fool of the Took!" Pippin: "Say that again and lose your teeth!" Gandalf: "You've looked into the Palantir too long!"

Vs himself
Gimli 1: "Father, is that you?" Gimli 2: "I am not your father!" Gimli 1: "Then I'll have those axes back, if you don't mind!"

Gimli 1: "Move aside, laddie!" Gimli 2: "This must be that witch's doing!" Gimli 1: "How dare you insult Lady Galadriel!"

Gimli 1: "Wearing my father's armory? You're asking for it!" Gimli 2: "From you?" Gimli 1: "To Durin, it is an offense!"

Gimli 1: "I could've been a Lord and a father!" Gimli 2: "This is a dream where you're both, laddie." Gimli 1: "Bet you're saying that about yourself!"

Vs Dwalin
Gimli: "Your brother's death has pained me, too, Dwalin." Dwalin: "Spare me your appeals!" Gimli: "Keep that up and you'll end up like Thorin!"

Vs Gandalf
Gimli: "Don't like your grumpy attitude!" Gandalf: "You know I don't take insults lightly!" Gimli: "I liked you better as the Grey Wizard!"

Vs Legolas
Gimli: "I could've been a Lord and a father!" Legolas: "Too bad you missed that chance, Dwarf!" Gimli: "Because I got stuck with you!"

Vs Sam
Gimli: "We're both loyal bodyguards, Samwise." Sam: "And who are you loyal to, exactly?" Gimli: "Who's the one about to become King?"

Vs himself
Legolas 1: "Who are you?" Legolas 2: "I bring warning from the future!" Legolas 1: "You will die here and now!" Legolas 1: "Have you slain Bolg as well?" Legolas 2: "I do not recall ever fighting him!" Legolas 1: "This fight will jog your memory!" Legolas 1: "Who are you?" Legolas 2: "Legolas, Prince of the Woodland Realm!" Legolas 1: "An imposter and a liar!" Legolas 1: "You again?" Legolas 2: "You know why I'm here." Legolas 1: "Then you already know your fate!"

Legolas 1: "You have my visage..." Legolas 2: "...and your strength!" Legolas 1: "That remains to be seen!"

Vs Aragorn
Legolas: "I can smell your stench..." Aragorn: "At least I don't self-manicure obsessively." Legolas: "Elf envy much?"

Legolas: "Estel..." Aragorn: "That name means nothing to me now." Legolas: "It is the name Lord Elrond gave you!"

Vs Azog
Legolas: "What will you do now that I've slain your spawn?" Azog: "I will bring my master you and your father's heads!" Legolas: "That remains to be seen!"

Legolas: "It is not possible. Thorin has killed you!" Azog: "Now I am Azog reborn!" Legolas: "Not for much longer!"

Vs Boromir
Legolas: "I would never trust you." Boromir: "What about the Hobbits?" Legolas: "They're the only reason you're still alive."

Vs Frodo
Legolas: "Carved yourself a bow, I see." Frodo: "Maybe I don't want to be just a Ring-bearer anymore." Legolas: "That makes sense." / "Elf envy much?"

Vs Merry
Legolas: "Should've known you stole her knives..." Merry: "You wait just a minute! Whose knives?" Legolas: "Her name was Tauriel!"

Legolas: "Looking for your friend?" Merry: "Like it's any of your business!" Legolas: "Elf envy much?"

Legolas: "Weren't you more serious?" Merry: "Weren't you more deadpan?" Legolas: "That better not be an insult!"

Vs Pippin
Legolas: "You have a problem?" Pippin: "You really need to converse more..." Legolas: "And you really need to get your head together."

Legolas: "Ever been to Mirkwood?" Pippin: "Why ask me?" Legolas: "You love roaming in forests, do you not?"

Legolas: "Carved yourself a bow, I see." Pippin: "Tooks are known to have taken up archery." Legolas: "But are you as skilled as the rest of your kin?"

Vs Sam
Legolas: "Nice to meet a fellow botanist." Sam: "You mean gardener?" Legolas: "...Same thing."

Legolas: "Looking for your friend?" Sam: "Why do you assume that?" Legolas: "You cannot last a day without him!"

Vs himself
Merry 1: "It's like looking in a mirror!" Merry 2: "And you are?" Merry 1: "The real Meriadoc Brandybuck!"

Merry 1: "There can't be two of me!" Merry 2: "Get used to it, chum!" Merry 1: "Sorry, but one of us has to go!"

Merry 1: "You my twin brother?" Merry 2: "In your dreams!" Merry 1: "Well, no need to be rude about it!"

Merry 1: "Real funny..." Merry 2: "You know what's funny? Your face!" Merry 1: "You know you just insulted yourself, right?"

Merry 1: "I'm the true Master of Buckland!" Merry 2: "Not while I'm still standing!" Merry 1: "Perhaps I'll stand on your corpse!" / "That can easily be remedied!"

Vs Aragorn
Merry: "Long time no see, Strider!" Aragorn: "You should know my true name!" Merry: "It's just for old times sake!"

Merry: "Yelled at your friend, too, huh?" Aragorn: "That was a long time ago." Merry: "Oh, sure..."

Vs Boromir
Merry: "You seem a bit different today." Boromir: "Maybe because the Ring's out of the way." Merry: "Got me there."

Vs Elrond
Merry: "Should've known you were up to something..." Elrond: "Men bring ruin to this world!" Merry: "Well, no need to be rude about it!"

Vs Faramir
Merry: "Not nice what you did to Frodo and Sam!" Faramir: "I will not be judged for defending Gondor!" Merry: "Well, no need to be rude about it!"

Vs Frodo
Merry: "Yelled at your friend, too, huh?" Frodo: "Let's just say the Ring was involved." Merry: "Fight first, then we'll apologize to them."

Merry: "Don't fall over and hurt yourself." Frodo: "Oh, now you're asking for it!" Merry: "I knew that would get your attention."

Merry: "Stop being so damned stubborn!" Frodo: "The Ring was entrusted to me alone!" Merry: "That doesn't mean you have to do it alone!"

Merry: "Let's see if you can still fight!" Frodo: "Sting will hurt more than a barrow blade." Merry: "Think that will scare an esquire of Rohan?"

Merry: "I can keep any secrets, you know." Frodo: "How so?" Merry: "Closer than you keep to yourself, Frodo!"

Vs Gimli
Merry: "Don't fall over and hurt yourself." Gimli: "My well-being is the least of your concern!" Merry: "Oh, sure..."

Vs Gollum
Merry: "Not nice what you did to Frodo and Sam!" Gollum: "I make thieves dead for touching my precious!" Merry: "Then I'll tell Gandalf you're a lost cause!"

Merry: "Should've known you were up to something..." Gollum: "I was just sneaking, precious!" Merry: "Oh, sure..."

Vs Legolas
Merry: "The Elven show-off." Legolas: "How many times have you worn that yellow vest?" Merry: "Don't know if you noticed, but I keep it clean!"

Merry: "I get your bow if I win!" Legolas: "You can have my old one." Merry: "How's that new one doing for you, by the way?"

Vs Pippin
Merry: "Pippin! How are your sisters?" Pippin: "You greet me by asking about my sisters?" Merry: "From the only child, yours truly!"

Merry: "Pippin, I..." Pippin: "I thought you never want to see me again!" Merry: "Guess I deserve this..."

Merry: "Don't get careless, Pip!" Pippin: "I can handle it, thanks." Merry: "Oh, sure..."

Merry: "You remembered to eat your greens?" Pippin: "What's the fun in being tall?" Merry: "You're the first Hobbit to drink the Ent Draught!"

Merry: "Should've known you were up to something..." Pippin: "Merry, what are you doing!?" Merry: "Making you spill your secrets, Pippin!"

Vs Sam
Merry: "I've been looking for you, Sam." Sam: "And here I am!" Merry: "Let's catch up!"

Merry: "Remember when I helped cure you from food poisoning?" Sam: "Of course! How could I forget?" Merry: "Just reminding you of your own health."

Merry: "Yelled at your friend, too, huh?" Sam: "What do you think, Merry?" Merry: "Fight first, then we'll apologize to them."

Merry: "Let's see if you can still fight!" Sam: "Those would be my words!" Merry: "Touché."

Merry: "Yelled at your friend, too, huh?" Sam: "Don't you have your own problems to worry about?" Merry: "Well, no need to be rude about it!"

Vs himself
Pippin 1: "This is going to be good!" Pippin 2: "What? Pippin versus Pippin?" Pippin 1: "Yeah. Who'd be a fool to pass this up?"

Pippin 1: "Uh, who are you?" Pippin 2: "Who do you think?" Pippin 1: "You know what? Let's skip the questioning!"

Pippin 1: "You don't look like Merry..." Pippin 2: "I'm you, Fool of the Took!" Pippin 1: "Been called that before, but not by you!"

Pippin 1: "Hello, good looking!" Pippin 2: "Self-compliment! Lovely!" Pippin 1: "Yeah, I know!"

Vs Aragorn
Pippin: "What's with you, anyway?" Aragorn: "You're sometimes too difficult to heal." Pippin: "Well, your dour look is not helping your case!"

Vs Azog
Pippin: "Move it or lose it." Azog: "I never lose!" Pippin: "You will today!"

Vs Boromir
Pippin: "Trying to steal the Ring then getting yourself killed? Were you mad?" Boromir: "I've paid for all of it!" Pippin: "I know. I saw the whole thing! The killing part anyway..."

Pippin: "Why didn't you tell us about your family?" Boromir: "Exactly which part did I leave out?" Pippin: "Does parental favoritism ring a bell?"

Vs Frodo
Pippin: "If it isn't the Ring-bearer!" Frodo: "Will you please stop calling me that?" Pippin: "Whatever you say, Mad Baggins II!"

Pippin: "If it isn't the Ring-bearer!" Frodo: "Oh, now you're asking for it!" Pippin: "From you? Please..."

Pippin: "You're going to get hurt!" Frodo: "I've been hurt since the War!" Pippin: "Doesn't mean you're stopping me!"

Pippin: "Is that sword all you got?" Frodo: "Sting will hurt more than a barrow blade." Pippin: "Ran straight into that one, didn't I?"

Pippin: "I'm a failure, too, you know." Frodo: "We were both careless, Pippin." Pippin: "Yeah, I know!"

Vs Gimli
Pippin: "I never had a chance to thank you." Gimli: "Uh, for what?" Pippin: "You don't remember getting me out from under a troll?"

Pippin: "What's with you, anyway?" Gimli: "You didn't save me any salted pork!" Pippin: "You were never there to ask!"

Vs Gollum
Pippin: "You must be that 'stinker' Sam mentioned!" Gollum: "Fresh Hobbit meat! We taste!" Pippin: "There will be no tasting, got it?"

Vs Legolas
Pippin: "You're going to get hurt!" Legolas: "I can take the pain." Pippin: "So smug! But for how long?"

Pippin: "How are you liking Fangorn?" Legolas: "It's old, filled with memory and anger." Pippin: "Don't forget slow!"

Vs Merry
Pippin: "You didn't have to go with me, you know." Merry: "Somebody has to keep you on the reigns." Pippin: "I'm not a tween anymore, Merry."

Pippin: "What's with you, anyway?" Merry: "I just don't like what Saruman's Orcs did to you!" Pippin: "Let it go already."

Pippin: "Where's your horse?" Merry: "Didn't feel like riding Stybba today." Pippin: "I brought mine."

Pippin: "Alright, let's settle this dispute." Merry: "What dispute, Pippin?" Pippin: "Don't play ignorant! You know what!"

Pippin: "Esquire of Rohan..." Merry: "Versus a Knight of Gondor!" Pippin: "Yeah. Who'd be a fool to pass this up?"

Vs himself
Sam 1: "Samwise the Strong?" Sam 2: "Who wants to know?" Sam 1: "Samwise the Brave!"

Sam 1: "You're Samwise as well?" Sam 2: "Well, there can't be two Sams!" Sam 1: "Right! One of us has to go home!"

Sam 1: "Did you steal the Ring from Mr. Frodo?" Sam 2: "I had to! It was the only way!" Sam 1: "This must be a bad dream..."

Sam 1: "Deep down, you hold resentment..." Sam 2: "Mr. Frodo's change was the Ring's doing!" Sam 1: "Then you're in denial, Samwise Gamgee!"

Sam 1: "It must be Cirith Ungol all over again..." Sam 2: "That dreaded place? You serious?" Sam 1: "I meant facing you again, dumb-nuts!"

Vs Azog
Sam: "Didn't you die!?!" Azog: "Now I am Azog reborn!" Sam: "Thorin should've aimed for you head!"

Vs Boromir
Sam: "You will pay for what you did to Mr. Frodo!" Boromir: "Can't talk you out of this fight, can I?" Sam: "Now I attack you!"

Sam: "Didn't you die!?!" Boromir: "Perhaps the river saved me." Sam: "Well, you're not getting off that easy!"

Sam: "It's Sean versus Sean..." Boromir: "What are you mumbling about?" Sam: "Forget I said anything!"

Sam: "Did you steal the Ring from Mr. Frodo?" Boromir: "No, but I'm atoning for the attempt!" Sam: "Well, you're not getting off that easy!"

Vs Dwalin
Sam: "Didn't you die!?!" Dwalin: "You mistake me for my brother." Sam: "...My apologies."

Vs Elrond
Sam: "Can you make me my own Sting?" Elrond: "It was forged in Gondolin!" Sam: "But aren't you Elves master craftsmen?"

Sam: "I can't help but hate you right now." Elrond: "Frodo's quest was a gamble worth taking." Sam: "Now we're gambling with your life!"

Vs Frodo
Sam: "Who are you and what have you done with Frodo?" Frodo: "Perhaps I killed him and took his place." Sam: "You better be bluffing!"

Sam: "You still think sharing is out of the question?" Frodo: "Seven years and you're still mad about that?" Sam: "Here's hoping this knocks some sense into you!"

Sam: "Hope you brought more than Sting." Frodo: "Sting will hurt more than a barrow blade." Sam: "Maybe I'll have Elrond forge me another Sting!"

Sam: "I can't help but hate you right now." Frodo: "That hurts, Sam." Sam: "No. This will hurt!"

Sam: "You sure you wanna fight me?" Frodo: "I'm not sick anymore, Sam!" Sam: "Prove it!"

Vs Gandalf
Sam: "I can't help but hate you right now." Gandalf: "Why, may I ask?" Sam: "It's thanks to you Frodo became half-mad!"

Vs Gollum
Sam: "Among the living again, stinker?" Gollum: "Be nice, fat Hobbit!" Sam: "But Mr. Frodo isn't here to save you this time!"

Sam: "I can't help but hate you right now." Gollum: "Still not forgiving precious for making you go away?" Sam: "That was the last straw!"

Vs Legolas
Sam: "Sneaking around in my garden again?" Legolas: "More like caring for it, Samwise." Sam: "...My apologies."

Sam: "Why the confused look, Legolas?" Legolas: "You're usually the polite Hobbit." Sam: "Maybe I feel like breaking a few ribs."

Vs Merry
Sam: "Learned anything in Rohan?" Merry: "Other than caring for horses?" Sam: "Or we could start with their love for blood!"

Sam: "You didn't save me any Ent Draught!" Merry: "Somebody's green with envy!" Sam: "Would you stop with the gardening jokes already?"

Sam: "I scared away a big spider!" Merry: "I helped kill the Witch-king!" Sam: "Well-played, little shanks!"

Sam: "Alright, what have you done to Pippin?" Merry: "Like it's any of your business!" Sam: "Well, you're not getting off that easy!"

Vs Pippin
Sam: "So you're the one who's been eating the strawberries..." Pippin: "It was the best jam I ever had, too." Sam: "Well, you're not getting off that easy!"

Sam: "Sneaking around in my garden again?" Pippin: "Not to burgle anything, obviously!" Sam: "Except a stash of fruit."

Sam: "If it isn't the foolish Took!" Pippin: "Say that again and lose your teeth!" Sam: "You better be bluffing!"

Sam: "And how long have you looked into Saruman's ball?" Pippin: "Don't remind me, Sam!" Sam: "You're lucky you didn't give away anything!"