Epic Saga IV: Ouroburos vs. Beecanoe ~ Final Nightmare/Script: Part Five

[The ninja looks around the forest for food...]

ETG: Aw, man! This forest is so gigantic, yet I can't for the life of me find some damn grub! I wonder where it is, anyway...

[ETG spots a scent and sniffs]

ETG: {sniff sniff!} Wait a dirty sec! It smells like--- Could it be? FOOD! HAHAHA, HEY!!!!!

[He runs like a rabid dog, teleporting from treetop to treetop, searching hard for it...]

ETG: YEEEAAA--- Huh?

???: You here somethin'?

ETG: Whaa???

[He peeks way below to see two officers]

Officer #1: I swore I heard a girl!

Officer #2: It oughta just be your running imagination... What would another person be doin' acting like a moron anyway just like us?!

Officer #1: I bet she's hot!

[ETG blushes, then gulps...]

ETG: {whispers} What a perv! I'm a darn guy for cryin' out loud... Just a curse, is all.

Officer #1: Just imagine me with a chick like that, what with her nice rack an' all!

[The other ally smacks his friend across the head]

Officer #1: YOOOOUCH, PAL!!! Watch where you hit me...

Officer #2: No wonder Roid couldn't trust ya! He's off somewhere on his own, taking care of business orders, and all I have to here is you babble about girls!

Officer #1: The thought of that burned my mind off whole, so shaddup!!

Officer #2: You shut up!

Officer #1: You!

Officer #2: No, you!

Officer #1: Uh uh, you!

[ETG is bored out of his mind, so he throws a paper bomb down where the two officers are at]

ETG: {whispers} If this doesn't stop them, I don't know what will... Sayonara, Bakana!

Officer #1: Ha, figures... YOU SUCK! AHAHAHAHAHAHA---

[Officer Two hits the other officer with the butt of his pistol...]

Officer #1: DDDAAAAOOOOWWHH!!!!!!!

Officer #2: Look next to you, idiot...

[Officer Two points at the tree stem...]

Officer #1: I... See... Nothing---

Both Officers: HUH?!?!

[They notice sizzling...]

Both Officers: GGGUUUAAHHH!!!!!!!!

{BOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!}

ETG: Did I hit 'em?

[ETG comes out of the tree bush and looks down to see the two men in smoke...]

ETG: Whowah! My ninja training's finally paid off!

[ETG swoops down to the ground...]

ETG: ''YATTA!!! YATTA!!! YATTA!!! ''BUWAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Officer #2: {groans} Hey, kid!

ETG: AHAHAHAH-- What the---?

[He turns his head over to the two officers...]

Officer #1: {huff-huff} YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR SETTIN' UP THAT THERE TRAP!?!?!?

ETG: Uh... Gomenasai? Heh-heh...

Officer #1: "Gomenasai"? THE HELL'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?! FOR A GIRL, THAT IS LOOOWW!!! ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT, NOW!!

[ETG turns red in the face, stricken with anger...]

Officer #2: Uh, dude?

Officer #1: Not now, you... I HAVE THIS GOODY TWO-SHOES THAT HAS A TAIL THAT NEEDS WHOPPIN'!! I KNEW I AIN'T CRAZY! Heard this girl a while ago... SEE!?!?!?

[Officer One gives his friend a look of disgust...]

Officer #2: What? It wasn't my fault, you klutz...

ETG: You two... DIE NOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both: THE HELL!?!

[ETG grabs the officer's necks and slits them with a kunai knife...]

ETG: In case you bozos didn't get the message, I'm a frickin' dude! THIS CURSE AFFECTED ME A LONG TIME AGO, AND EVER SINCE THAT DAY... I DON'T LIKE IT!!!! Huh?

[ETG notices the dead officers in front of him... The latter immediately shuts his eyes in disbelief]

ETG: Did I really... Kill those guys?

[A nearby monkey screeches...]

ETG: {sighs deeply} If only it weren't for this curse... It's making me act uncool! I'd probably be better off reporting off to that small fry... Oh, well, mission accomplished!

[He drops a smoke bomb on the ground and makes a backtrack...]

{BUBUBU-BOOOOM!!!}

[Monkeys screech some more...]

(Meanwhile... at the City of Herald)

Replica Ouroburos: I know he'll come here eventually... I just know it.

Replica Beecanoe: You have no sympathy for others, don't you?

[Replica Ouro takes out the Cross of Christ...]

Replica Ouroburos: God is not our saviour, companion... Only Terios is... And I'll make sure of it!

(To be continued...)